ERIC'S "IT'S MY BIRTHDAY AND I CAN BELCH IF I WANT TO..." NEWSLETTER VOL. 6 #5 - May 2004

INTRODUCTION
-------------------------

If you've been reading my newsletter for any amount of time then you've probably come to realize that my birthday is in May. So, every year when May rolls around, I always end up writing something about how I was born in May, making May my birthday month, and the month in which I was born. You might think that I'd get tired of talking about the month in which I was born (which was May) and oddly you'd be kind of right. Which is why I am now going to start talking about comics...

IF YOU READ NOTHING ELSE
---------------------------------------------

This month, my pick comes from the reincarnation of one of my childhood favorites -- Firestorm. I loved this character when I was a kid, and he was one of the few DCU second/third-string characters to actually have his own television cartoon. It was pretty good, too, although I must admit it was unbelievably short-lived. At any rate, the comic is back and this time they're telling me that there won't be any LSD-induced acid trips about Firestorm becoming a burly woods-loving people-hating fire elemental or anything like that, and to that, I say --- good. There was a while there where Firestorm very much became like Swamp Thing with the whole part-of-the-Earth, Greenpeace B.S. Okay. I calm down. If you'd like to learn more about the actual comic itself, head on down to the Good Stuff. Otherwise, here's all the information you need to know to order it.

MAR040306 Firestorm #1. $2.50 retail. ** 50% OFF AT HTTP://WWW.COMICSNOW.COM!! **

THE BIZ
-------------

WARREN ELLIS IS FANTASTIC! No, really. Not just the obvious parts that he's an absolutely awesome writer, blah blah blah, but starting with issue #7 (in June), Ellis and Stuart Immonen will be taking over writing and art duties for Ultimate Fantastic Four. Speaking of which, if you're not reading Ultimate FF, then you're once again missing out on the glory that is the Ultimate lineup. Let me recap my opinion of the Fantastic Four -- they suck. What do I think of ULTIMATE Fantastic Four? It's unbelieveable. Reading this comic actually makes me like this superhero team, which, up until now, I viewed as goody-goody, homebody, family-incestual garbage. The Ultimate label makes this stuff look good and bringing Ellis into the mix will make it even better.

MILLAR AND ROMITA BLADE RUMOR SLICED IN TWO! Rumors have been floating around the Internet and other places that Mark Millar and John Romita, Jr. would be launching a new Blade title. The rumors are false, though the pair are teamed up to create a 12-issue maxi-series for Marvel that will feature the character Blade in the first few issues. Speaking of which, if you like Blade, you need to check out Underworld, now on DVD. It's not spectacular but an intentional lack of use of computer graphics by the director makes it one of the most realistic vampire-werewolf movies available today (in case you haven't figured it out, I am of the school of thought that CG should be used sparingly, not a la the Star Wars Prequels where it looks like the actors are trying REALLY hard to ACT like they MIGHT possibly see where they're supposed to be). Subtle -- not substantial -- is the key.

NEIL GAIMAN GETS ALL MAD! Not really. After finishing up his 1602 series (which I got an absolute whipping for sandblasting last month), Gaiman still has to complete one more project in order to fulfill his contractual obligations. I still say 1602 was a mediocre title that started to spice up toward the end of it, but c'mon -- any title that tries to seriously bring The Watcher in as a legitimate character runs the risk of crossing the line into Wisconsin (it's the Cheesiest!). Gaiman is an absolutely amazing writer and I still go back to read his Sandman books whenever current writing gets me down, but to see him whip out The Watcher as a dead-serious character is like watching George W. Bush make a serious entry to win the Nobel Peace Prize.

THE X-MEN ARE ENDING! Boy, do I wish! Yes, I just said that outloud. Unfortunately for me, all that's coming is a series of mini-series (as in, more than one mini-series) that will be performing The X-Men: The End duties. As we all know, the soap-opera antics of the X-Men are here to stay until our children's children finally sit up and say, "Oh, for the love of all that is holy! Just kill the freakin' Phoenix already and be done with it once and for all!" At any rate, Chris Claremont will be writing the three mini-series and, surprise-surprise, be taking a lot of the inspiration from his own X-Men storyarcs. No word yet on when the mini-series will start to flood the market.

TOP-10 and TOP-100
---------------------------------

Check out Comics NOW! Inc.'s Top-100 on IRX Productions. Download the April 2004 Top-100 PDF file (it's 8KB!) at:

http://www.irxproductions.com/comics/apr04top100.pdf

It's Comics NOW!'s very own Top-10 and Top-100 lists. This list is based on the internal sales quantities of the titles with Premiere being the big guns who pay the extra bucks to be listed first in the ordering system: Dark Horse Comics, DC Comics, Image Comics, and Marvel Comics. The Independent list is everyone else, all those pea-shooters who no one really pays attention to... or do they?

Here's an example of how to read the format:

1. (3) The Amazing Eric Comic

"1." - the place of the title in the list this month

"(3)" - where the title was LAST month ("-" if it wasn't)

the title - this one should be pretty obvious

TOP 10 PREMIERE COMICS

1. (-) Spider-Man

2. (-) Superman

3. (-) Wolverine The End

4. (2) Ultimate Fantastic Four

5. (-) Ultimates

6. (4) Superman Batman

7. (6) Amazing Spider-Man

8. (5) Batman

9. (8) Ultimate Spider-Man

10. (7) Ultimate X-Men

TOP 10 INDEPENDENT COMICS

1. (1) Transformers G1 Vol 3

2. (3) Transformers Energon

3. (4) Transformers Armada

4. (5) Sojourn

5. (6) GI Joe

6. (7) GI Joe Reloaded

7. (-) 30 Days of Night

8. (-) El Cazador

9. (-) Negation War

10. (-) Strangers in Paradise

THE GOOD STUFF
------------------------------

DARK HORSE COMICS

SPYBOY: FINAL EXAM #1 of 4

There are a lot of strange comics out there in the comic universe, and I must admit that Spyboy is certainly one of them. Based on a high school student who can change into a spy-like persona named SpyBoy, the self-titled series of mini-series is done up in a Anime- like style that adds credibility and originality to the work. I actually like its tongue-in-cheek style and strange antics. Final Exam is SpyBoy's final challenge -- graduating High School, going to the prom, and encountering his most difficult nemesis ever -- SpyGuy.
By Peter David and Pop Mhan.
32 pages. 4-issue mini-series. $2.99 each.

DC COMICS

BATMAN: CYBER REVOLUTION #1 of 5

Batman, Oracle, Nightwing, Robin, and Black Canary (?) have to go into the future to stop the Joker when he gets his hands on a highly-advanced computer virus and makes horrific versions of Batman's rogue's gallery. It's always a bad sign when they start making mini-series to make sense of the action figures in the marketplace, but this series is supposed to clear up the confusion around Mattell's current line of Batman figures.
By Ron Perazza, Francisco Rodriguez de la Fuente and Aaron Sowd.
32 pages. 5-issue mini-series. $2.95 each.

FIRESTORM #1

Here it is, ladies and gentlemen. The return of one of my favorite DCU characters of all time -- Firestorm. Of course, as with any return of a third-string character, Firestorm is going to be dramatically revamped from his previous teenager-melded-with- scientist only to eventually turn into an elemental and get destroyed roots. This time, teenager Jason Rusch has accidentally worked for a local criminal and gets granted the powers of Firestorm. Only, this time, rumor has it that this time around, everytime Jason wants to make the switch to Firestorm, we does so with whoever's around. Interesting to the max, dudes.
By Dan Jolley, Chriscross, and John Dell.
32 pages. Ongoing series. $2.50 retail.

JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA: ANOTHER NAIL #1 of 3

The Nail was an excellent JLA mini-series a few years back and this logically named story is the sequel to Alan Davis's original mini-series. This time, the good ol' JLA gets bounced around from one dimension to another until they end up getting sent to Hell. Go figure. All dimensions lead to Hell.
By Alan Davis and Mark Farmer.
48 pages. 3-issue mini-series. $5.95 retail.

RICHARD DRAGON #1

Richard Dragon is a super-ninja martial artist who's given up the good fight and gone to the back alleys of a Far East nightclub where he fights pit fighters and dwells on how pitiful his life has become. When a group of the world's greatest assassins is being assembled, Bronze Tiger (yep, that's his name) looks for Dragon to rejoin the fight.
By Chuck Dixon with Scott McDaniel and Andy Owens.
32 pages. Ongoing series. $2.50 retail.

THE AUTHORITY: MORE KEV #1 of 4

If you love Corporal Kev Hawkins, then you'll love this Authority mini-series that, well, focuses on Corporal Ken Hawkins (thus the nifty name -- MORE KEV). At any rate, an Alien Armada has made short work of the Authority so they've come to collect Kev to help them fight the ongoing invasion. Good luck, Earth!
By Garth Ennis and Glenn Fabry.
32 pages. 4-issue mini-series. $2.95 retail.

SEAGUY #1 of 3

Grant Morrison asks what kind of superhero would be made from a guy in a wet-suit with funny little fish friends. Well, Seaguy is the man for Morrison. Seaguy teams up with his friend, Chubby Da Choona (who I assume is a tuna) to embark on a voyage through a post-Utopian (which is very different from post-apocalyptic, I hope Grant knows) world that's filled with adventures. Go, SeaGuy, go! Man, I feel like I've said that before...
By Grant Morrison with Cameron Stewart.
40 pages. 3-issue mini-series. $2.95 retail.

IMAGE COMICS

FREAK

So, Alex Wyatt is a guy with the power to be able to hijack people's bodies and minds. He gets blamed for the death of his best friend (whose sister he was going to married) and sent to an insane asylum where he vows never to use his powers again. Obviously, this is the set up for the rest of the comic. Strangely, it feels a lot like the movie Butterfly Effect which you should all go see, by the way.
By Lee Ferguson.
64 pages. Oneshot. $6.95 retail.

GHOST SPY #1 of 6

Keico Loc is a female bounty hunter. Basically, Image's approach to new titles is to take women, put them in roles that are typically male, and... well... not change anything. Make the women act just like the men in the same roles except this time they've got boobs. Anyway, Loc has psychological problems and she's trying to figure out how to discuss them with her coworkers (more or less).
By Jacob Elijah and Steve Albertson.
32 pages. 6-issue mini-series. $2.95 retail.

WITCHBLADE/WOLVERINE

Oh, here we go -- claws against spikey things. And you can just taste the sexual tension. At any right, Witchblade's getting married to Wolverine, and that's the beginning of the story. It's written by Chris Claremont, though, so at least we know it won't be total and complete utter crap. 32 pages. One-shot. $2.99 retail.

MARVEL COMICS

ASTONISHING X-MEN #1

Here we go.... an all-new flagship X-Men series (because the 15 they already have aren't enough). X-MEN: RELOAD is touching down and includes this series with an all new return to the greatness of previous eras as well as to mark the touchstone of a whole new era for the X-Men.
By Joss Wheddon and John Cassaday.
32 pages. Ongoing series. $2.99 retail.

NEW X-MEN: ACADEMY X #1

So, Emma Frost and Cyclops have taken over the reins of the school and are making the students pick codenames... and teams. They force the student body to divide itself into small squads to "choose sides." Things aren't going to be the same at all for Xavier's school, but with the number of new titles coming out about the X-Men this month, who's going to be able to tell?
By Nunzio Defilippis and Christina Weird with Randy Green.
32 pages. Ongoing series. $2.99 retail.

EXCALIBUR #1 & #2

Genosha. Land of the free. The brave. Send me your huddled masses of mutant flesh and I shall free their minds... blah blah blah. And then one day, KABOOM! Nuclear bomb melts everyone's faces off and makes Magneto a very unhappy boy. Well, Professor X is heading to Genosha with one plan in mind -- to rebuild it into a nation of mutant goodness with tight-fitting spandex (I may have developed a little artistic license with that last part).
By Chris Claremont, Igor Kordey, and Andy Park.
32 pages. Ongoing series. $2.99 retail each.

DISTRICT X #1

See? I wasn't kidding. Marvel's seriously milking the X-Gravy Train now. You thought they were all about it before... and the whole killing Professor X thing back in the 90's where they changed the names of all the comics and made us buy them all, and then the whole Parallax thing? No, you ain't see nothing yet. Here we go with the whole X-Men Reload thing. Reload Marvel's pockets is more like it. Anyway, this one is a Marvel Knights series that centers on a dark part of New York City where Bishop is the only semblance of police to patrol it since human police are terrified of the marvel population that lives there.
By David Hine with David Yardin and Steve McNiven.
32 pages. Ongoing series. $2.99 retail.

GIVE ME A TIP?
------------------

Think this newsletter is worth a dollar? Click here to donate.

Thanks to all for your support!

FINAL NOTES
---------------------

So, I know that it looks like a big month for comics but just remember that once you take it out all the X-titles, there are actually only two new titles in all of comicdom this month. At any rate, the newsletter has reached its close for another month, and I'd like to personally thank you all for reading this far. Of course, I can't thank you all personally, so, I'll just say thank you. Thanks.

As always, remember, if your wallet's looking kinda small, just add Reload to the end of your name and sell seventeen titles all based on you. No, wait. That's Marvel that does that.

And, as always, thank you for your business!

Eric Jacobson

Eric's Newsletter and IRX Productions are copyright © 1999-2004 to Eric R. Jacobson