ERIC'S "CYNICISM IS MY FORTE!" NEWSLETTER VOL. 6 #6 - June 2004

INTRODUCTION
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Welcome to Eric's Newsletter. This month I'm a cynical bastard. Alright, alright. I just heard a big groan come over the Internet from anyone who's read previous issues of my newsletter. I'm ALWAYS cynical. Except this month there's a whole lot more crap coming down the toilet line from all of the big publishers. On the bright side, there's a light at the end of the tunnel of sewage that leads into flowering meadows -- there's actually some good stuff coming out in June, too. So, let's get to it.

IF YOU READ NOTHING ELSE
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It's very rare that I find a writer that I particularly fall in love with and I have to admit that I'm loving Y - THE LAST MAN and THE ULTIMATE X-MEN written by Brian Vaughan. His edgy, hardcore, realistic, funny writing keeps me glued to every issue of his comics from the get-go. So, when I hear that he's releasing an all-new series that's touted to be like The West Wing meets Superman, I'm all about it, and this month's pick is just that - EX MACHINA. A superhero who drops his duds to run as the mayor of New York is the premise and it's shaping up to be an awesome show.
APR040356 Ex Machina #1 $2.95 retail.
** 50% OFF AT HTTP://WWW.COMICSNOW.COM!! **

THE BIZ
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BENDIS TO DESTROY AVENGERS Yes, one man will take on the Earth's Mightiest Heroes and level them all. Of course, when it's Brian Michael Bendis, this story actually sounds feasible. Starting with issue #500, Bendis is going to take the Avengers and expose them to a disaster of infinite capability -- resulting in a whole New Avengers and a whole new team dynamic at the end of it. Sit tight for this one.

ELLIS IS ALL NEGATIVE ABOUT ULTIMATE FF Warren Ellis is grabbing the Ultimate Fantastic Four from Bendis so that Bendis can go on to his writing duties for the Avengers. Ellis' first story-arc will be all about the negative zone, that wacky place where up is down and toys are weapons.

ULTIMATE DELAY The next section of the ever-popular Ultimates series is being delayed. Is it possible that Marvel's taken a lesson from the big book of Image publishing? At any rate, the title's being pushed back from an April release to September... for now.

25-ISSUE CROSSOVER NOTHING NEW TO BATMAN Every other year or so, the Batman universe has some really big storyarc that covers all of the different series. DC would always like us to believe that the reason behind it is that the story's too big to be told in a single series but I still hold true to the idea that it makes it easy to bring in a lot of cash when you make readers buy ALL your series. At any rate, this year the gangland of Gotham goes nutty and all the gangs start fighting each other, to the tune of lots and lots of casulaties. It all starts late this summer.

TOP-10 and TOP-100
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Check out Comics NOW! Inc.'s Top-100 on IRX Productions. Download the May 2004 Top-100 PDF file (it's 8KB!) at:

http://www.irxproductions.com/comics/may04top100.pdf

It's Comics NOW!'s very own Top-10 and Top-100 lists. This list is based on the internal sales quantities of the titles with Premiere being the big guns who pay the extra bucks to be listed first in the ordering system: Dark Horse Comics, DC Comics, Image Comics, and Marvel Comics. The Independent list is everyone else, all those pea-shooters who no one really pays attention to... or do they?

Here's an example of how to read the format:

1. (3) The Amazing Eric Comic

"1." - the place of the title in the list this month

"(3)" - where the title was LAST month ("-" if it wasn't)

the title - this one should be pretty obvious

TOP 10 PREMIERE COMICS

1. (2) Superman

2. (-) Secret War

3. (-) Astonishing X-Men

4. (4) Ultimate Fantastic Four

5. (6) Superman Batman

6. (1) Spider-Man

7. (9) Ultimate Spider-Man

8. (7) Amazing Spider-Man

9. (10) Ultimate X-Men

10. (8) Batman

TOP 10 INDEPENDENT COMICS

1. (1) Transformers G1 Vol 3

2. (-) Soulfire

3. (2) Transformers Energon

4. (-) Transformers 2004 Summer SP

5. (3) Transformers Armada

6. (6) GI Joe Reloaded

7. (4) Sojourn

8. (5) GI Joe

9. (-) Remains

10. (8) El Cazador

THE GOOD STUFF
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DARK HORSE COMICS

THE NAIL #1 of 4

Ever get the feeling that you're in for deep, deep trouble when a rock star thinks he can write his own comic? Maybe it's just me, but Rob Zombie's headed into the comic industry with the same fevered gusto that he jumped headlong into the movie industry. Hopefully, the comic will turn out a whole lot better than THE HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES but I've got this sinking feeling in my gut which is yelling, "HELL NO!! HELL NO!!" Of course, that could be the reheated hamburger I just ate which had been sitting in my refrigerator
By Steve Niles, Rob Zombie, and Nat Jones.
32 pages. 4-issue mini-series. $2.99 retail.

DC COMICS

SCRATCH #1 of 5

Batman investigates a 16-year old boy who transforms into a demon at night. The demon's name, Scratch, is theorized to come from the Southern term for the devil, "Old Scratch." The truly interesting thing about this otherwise slightly cliche mini-series is that it's written and drawn by Sam Kieth, the creator of THE MAXXX, and it looks like it. Pretty cool.
By Sam Kieth.
32 pages. 5-issue mini-series. $2.50 retail.

CHALLENGERS OF THE UNKNOWN #1 of 6

Okay. So, it's a world without superheroes and five people who have strange special powers discover that the world they live in is not really the world that they thought they lived in but they lived in it before they realized what they thought wasn't really what they were thinking when they thought it... or something like that. And then the five go investigate it at all. The story's been done before, this much I know, and I wasn't too into it before so we'll see how this one fares, won't we?
By Howard Chaykin.
32 pages. 6-issue mini-series. $2.95 retail.

IDENTITY CRISIS #1 of 7

It's this summer's mini-series event thingy! There's a whole big secret of the DC Universe that all the press releases keep referring to and about how all the heroes are willing to fight to keep it a secret and are willing to sacrifice themselves for. The thing that starts it all off, though, is a sacrifice that is "too much for them to bear." Supposedly, this is DC's biggest event of 2004 and it will have cascading effects for the entire DCU. I guess we'll have to read it to believe it, eh, but memories of Armageddon 2001 keep coming back to me.
By Brad Meltzer, Rags Morales and Michael Bair.
48 pages. 7-issue maxi-series. $3.95 retail.

EX MACHINA #1

Now, here's what I'm talking about. Brian K. Vaughan, the genius behind Y - THE LAST MAN and THE ULTIMATE X-MEN, is writing about Mithell Hundred, a civil engineer who gets endowed with super-powers, decides to drop that gig and run for the mayor of New York. The press is calling it a mixture of superheroism and The West Wing (which I love). If Vaughan's writing holds up, this is the comic to get in June.
By Brian K. Vaughan, Tony Harris, and Tom Feister.
40 pages. Ongoing series. $2.95 retail.

SLEEPER SEASON TWO #1 of 12

Sleeper's back and it's all sleepy with it this time. Seriously, though, the next chapter of the Sleeper saga brings back Carver's former handler, John Lynch, out of his coma. It's a whole mess of stuff going down and only Lynch can pull it off... or can he?
By Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips.
32 pages. 12-issue maxi-series. $2.95 retail.

THUNDERCATS: ENEMY'S PRIDE #1 of 5

Somehow I think the whole Thundercats fad went the way of the Micronauts. Dude, if it's not Transformers, Robotech, or G.I. Joe, we don't really care. There were a lot of toys from the 1980s that never went anywhere. Now what I want to see is a revival of MASK, dammit! Anyway, this story covers Lion-O's inability to give or orders that anyone listens to besides the, I'm serious, Thunderkittens. Go figure.
By John Layman and Udon Studios.
32 pages. 5-issue mini-series. $2.95 retail.

THE WITCHING #1

I know what you're thinking -- this particular comic smells a whole lot like THE CRAFT, a fairly campy witch movie aimed at teenage-angst ridden girls a half-dozen years ago, but when I read through it, I think it's possible that the comic may have some promise. Unfortunately, I also thought that THE CRAFT had promise, too, so definitely take my opinions with a grain of salt (or a small bag of salt).
By Jonathan Vankin, Leigh Gallagher, and Ron Randall.
32 pages. Ongoing series. $2.95 retail.

IMAGE COMICS

THE GRAY AREA #1 of 3

My god. Every month this happens. So, get this, Rudy Chance is a brutal, corrupt cop and womanizer (of course) who expects that he's going to end up in Hell and, surprise, instead finds himself in "The Gray Area." Wow. Critics panned McFarlane for Spawn's initial... what the hell am I saying... EVERLASTING lack of plot and now people are wandering around making comics that totally copy it? Well, Chance is forced to combat evil for... get this... an afterlife police force in order to ... SURPRISE... earn a shot at redemption. Whew. I had a hard time keeping my lunch down just writing this preview.
By John Rimta, Jr. and Glenn Brunswick with Klaus Janson.
48 pages. 3-issue mini-series. $5.95 retail.

THE RIDE #1 of 2 (?)

Okay, so this comic's about a 1968 Camaro and the people that it comes in contact with. Don't worry on this one, it's not Image Comics getting all Stephen King's CHRISTINE on you, this is a different kind of storytelling -- one that actually has promise. The first issue follows a rookie detective where she learns how her brother was killed and travels down the path to figure it all out. The comic's got promise, but I'm definitely not promising anything.
By Doug Wagner, Cully Hamner, and Brian Stelfreeze.
32 pages. 2-issue-mini-series (?). $2.95 retail.

SMALL GODS #1

So, the theory is that in 1991 the existence of psychic powers was finally and definitively proven. Supposedly, 1% of the world's population has these powers but they don't really do anything with them. So, the first issue follows a precognitive (see MINORITY REPORT) police detective who gets a vision of a bank robber. And there you go.
By Jason Rand and Juan E Ferreyra.
32 pages. Ongoing series. $2.95 retail.

MARVEL COMICS

AMAZING FANTASY #1

Wow, sometimes Marvel really does just take any idea you give them and try to run with it. It's another Spider-Man comic, really, except this time it's a girl (and it's not Spider-Girl, any of the three of them) and get this -- "she's fierce, she's sassy... she sticks to walls." Marvel implores us all to come "meet an all-new, all-different heroine!" Yeah... right. This is about as all-new and all-different as my morning bowel movement. Can we say "ick?"
By Fiona Avery and Mark Brooks.
32 pages. Ongoing series (unfortunately). $2.99 retail.

VENOM VS. CARNAGE #1 of 4

Ummm... hmmm. I could've sworn I've read this one before, but either way, the new scoop is that Carnage is about to have a baby now (just like he's Venom's) so the big question is -- who's going to get it?
By Peter Milligan and Clayton Crain.
32 pages. 4-issue mini-series. $2.99 retail.

POWERLESS #1 of 6

Now, THIS is what I'm talking about. This series takes Logan, Matt Murdock, and Peter Parker and asks the question -- what would these three superheroes (Wolverine, Daredevil, Spider-Man) be like if they had no super-powers. What would these guys do if they were normal but still had to deal with the same situations they had to before? It's a neat question, and one that I wouldn't mind reading the answer to.
By Matt Cherniss, Peter Johnson, and Michael Gaydos.
32 pages. 6-issue mini-series. $2.99 retail.

SPIDER-MAN 2: THE MOVIE ADAPTATION

I don't really need to say a whole lot about this comic. Obviously, it's going to be a comic adaptation of the movie. If you want to see the movie without knowing what's going to happen, I wouldn't recommend reading the comic -- it's that simple. It's basically a $3.50 spoiler.
48 pages. One-shot. $3.50 retail.

MARY JANE #1

So, it's a comic that follows Mary Jane and the rest of the cast of the Spider-Man universe (including Peter Parker) as they live their normal lives without the knowledge that Parker can shoot webs out of his arms.
By Sean McKeever and Takeshi Miyazawa.
32 pages. Ongoing series. $2.25 retail.

WITCHES #1 & #2

It's one of the ever-going battles between Marvel and DC --- "Whatever you can do, I can do better!" To coincide with DC's "The Witching," Marvel is releasing Witches, where Doctor Strange recruits three girls to go get a book for him. Man, hasn't this guy heard of a library? Or, hell, even Amazon.com?
By Brian Walsh and Mike Deodato, Jr.
32 pages. Limited series (who knows?). $2.99 retail each.

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FINAL NOTES
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So, therein ends this month's issue. I'm proud of the comic industry this June. There's plenty of good stuff coming out to offset the unbelievable piles of dog poop that are being shoveled on to the rack. It should be a good mixture of dessert and vegetables, I figure. At any rate, I'll be back again next month to cover all the poop that's fit to scoop. As always, remember, a cynic is as a cynic doesn't.

And, as always, thank you for your business!

Eric Jacobson